The Subtle Power of Where You Sit

You might think that in a meeting, the only thing that matters is what you say. But where you sit can influence how others perceive you, how included (or excluded) you feel, and even how persuasive you come across. Vanessa Van Edwards calls it “the psychology of seating”—and it matters more than you think.

Let’s break down how to choose the right seat every time, depending on your goals.

Step 1: Know the “Seating Map” of Power

Van Edwards outlines a typical layout around a conference table, labeling different zones (A, B, C, D, E, F). Here’s a simplified view of what each position tends to signal:

A – Power Player: The “head” seat; often reserved for the leader or VIP

  • If you lead or present, this is a strong seat. If not, use nearby positions wisely.

B & C – Allies: Flanking positions; seen as supporters of the leader

  • These seats let you lean in, whisper, or influence side conversations.

D – Middling: In the middle, less eye contact, less influence

  • Use body language (lean forward, raise hand) if you want more attention.

E – Contender: Opposite the leader; face-to-face

  • Use this if you’re confident in your ideas or want direct engagement.

F – Sideliner: Along the side, near door or periphery

  • Good if you want to stay low or need to slip out early

Each position carries assumptions and cues — and choosing wisely can help you shape how you’re seen, heard, or ignored.

Step 2: Decide Your Mode — Attention or Stealth

Before entering a meeting, decide whether you want to be a visible contributor or more of a listener. Van Edwards calls these Attention Mode and Stealth Mode.

  • Attention Mode: You want to speak, be noticed, influence the discussion. Aim for seats A, B, or E.
  • Stealth Mode: You prefer to observe, listen, or avoid being in the spotlight. Seats D, F, or C can work better.

Having that intention helps you pick the seat that supports your goal (rather than passively taking what’s left).

Step 3: Practical Constraints Matter Too

Even with a plan, practical factors can override your ideal pick. Van Edwards recommends asking questions like: “Will I need to leave early?,” “Will I need to grab coffee or use the restroom?,” or “Will a presentation be happening?”

If you think you’ll have to exit mid-meeting, avoid being stuck deep in the middle. If there’s a slide deck or screen, pick a seat with a clear view. If the room is unfamiliar, try to arrive early so you can claim the seat you want.

Step 4: Leverage Pro Tips & Nuances

Van Edwards sprinkles in smart, subtle strategies:

  • Sit to the left of the leader: Research shows people seated to the left of a power figure are more likely to be called on, noticed, or remembered.
  • Be the greeter: Choose a seat facing the door when possible. You can smile, greet newcomers, and project both warmth and presence.
  • Watch where others sit over time: People tend to have “default seats.” Paying attention helps you anticipate and plan.
  • Adjust for table shape: Rectangular tables amplify hierarchy; circular tables promote equality — but roles still get repositioned.
  • Mind equipment and props: Don’t block your face behind laptops or papers. Be careful with couches (which lower your relative status) or swivel chairs (which can look restless).

Why It Matters: The Larger Impact

  1. Perception & Influence
    Where you sit helps others map out who’s influential, who’s peripheral, who’s aligned with leadership. Positioning yourself well gives you silent leverage.
  2. Comfort & Confidence
    Choosing a seat aligned with your goals makes you feel more secure. When you don’t feel trapped or second-best, you can focus better on the discussion.
  3. Strategic Listening & Positioning
    In a “stealth mode” meeting, the right seat lets you observe dynamics, patterns, and power plays — giving you insight for future influence.

How to Use This in Your Next Meeting

  • Before the meeting, decide: do I want to be front and center or more in the background?
  • Arrive early enough to pick your seat (rather than getting stuck).
  • Scan who’s in the room: where the “leader” is seated, who typically holds which zones.
  • If forced into a less-than-ideal seat, lean forward, make eye contact, raise your hand, or shift later (if room allows).
  • Afterward, reflect: Did your seat choice help or hinder your goals? Adjust for next time.

Conclusion

Vanessa Van Edwards’ “How to Pick the Right Seat in a Meeting EVERY Time” shows us that seating is not random or trivial. It’s a nonverbal choice with influence, meaning, and strategy. In future meetings, treat seat selection like part of your game plan — not an afterthought. When you pair intention with awareness, you’ll be surprised how much more of an impact you can make — without saying a word.

 

Adapted from the original post on @NPAworldwide & original article How to Pick the Right Seat in a Meeting EVERY Time.